Sometimes our emotions make us feel great, and sometimes they make us feel terrible. And sometimes we make decisions just using logical analysis. So what do we need emotions for?
When we feel a certain way, typically our decision making is affected by it whether we feel good or bad. Many times when we feel fear, we react in ways that lead us to more failure or fear. What is happening is that when we are in fear, we are setting focus on what we do not want to attract. Whatever we are in fear of, that is where our focus is and that is what we will attract. When we are in faith and operating from a happier place, we are focused on what we want to gain not what we fear losing. We make decisions in the direction of where we set focus. We will go where ever we set focus. So it is important to stay in control of where we set focus and focus on the right things that get us to the happy places we intend to be. Our emotions are a guide. It tells us where we should put our focus. It tells us what life lessons we have and what we can self-improve on. If we are reacting to certain things with anger for example, then clearly there is something triggering us that we need to analyze and overcome. The more self-aware we are, the more control we have over our emotions, actions, and decisions, and ultimately our focus and where we go in life. It's ok to be angry and have all the emotions that we have, but it's not ok to use them as an excuse for our actions. Emotions are simply a human advantage that allow us to be guided in growing through life. Emotions are an indirect sign of attachment. Attachment to anything is no good, as we are not able to always be in control of everything around us and the things we may be attached to. We are only in control of ourselves to do the best we can do in this life and be the best we can be. Emotions and attachment are temporary. As humans we have a limited time on earth and only live in this body once. Attachment is not needed and can lead to many negative outcomes. Healthy understanding and compassion is what must be replaced with attachment. Attachment in most cases comes from the ego; the thoughts of thinking that we are who we are and we must have what we think we need. Just as attachment is temporary, so is happiness. The foundation of happiness is joy and peace. The foundation of attachment is understanding and compassion of ourself and all around us. Compassion is the sense and motivation to care and understand, but not be emotionally involved or attached.
Here are 2 ways to control our emotions so they don't control us. Instead let them guide us.
1) Practice self-awareness. This is the first step and most important step. We can't control our emotions if we are not aware of what we are feeling and that we are reacting with emotion. We must act upon, not react. When you begin to feel a certain way, pause and let yourself feel, process it, and before reacting with emotion, ask yourself how you feel, what are you feeling? Identify a name for your feeling. When you can do this, you must understand why. What is triggering you or making you feel this way? And whatever that reason is, there is another reason (past experience) that may have affected this feeling that has come up. Whatever that past experience may be, think about why it happened and what may be your lesson in it. what could you have done better to not be as triggered, and most of all switch focus from what was triggering you, to what can make the situation better. Next time a similar experience comes up, as it may start to trigger your emotions, remember why you get triggered, and switch your focus to how you can make the situation better. Remember to act upon and use logic over reacting with your emotions.
2) Switch your focus. After gaining clarity of your feelings, you can take control of it. With knowledge is power. The more understanding you have of yourself, the more understanding you will have of others and everything around you, and most importantly, the more you will have control of yourself and your decisions. You will rule your thoughts, feelings, and actions, not the other way around. With control, you can switch your focus on what can make the situation better faster, rather than engaging in the situation emotionally. Again, don't react, but act upon.